Is Your Highly Sensitive Teen Getting Lost In A Sea Of Emotions?

Is your teenager highly sensitive, emotionally reactive and easily affected by other’s energy and moods? Is your teen highly intuitive, often able to read your mind or overly empathetic to the emotional distress of others? Do you worry when your teen’s lack of emotional boundaries causes him or her to act out, experience heightened stress and/or become exceedingly stimulated? Does your child, while bright and perhaps academically gifted, struggle in school? Maybe your teen is easily distracted and finds it difficult to focus and stay on task. Or, perhaps social situations and peer relationships are challenging because of your teen’s heightened sensitivity. Do transitions between tasks, locations or ideas in conversation cause your teen distress? Or, does your child seem consumed by everyone else’s feelings? Do you sometimes wonder if your teen is experiencing so much emotion that it’s leading to anxiety or depression? Do you wish you better understood your child’s experience and had the knowledge and tools to best support, soothe and guide him or her?

Parenting a highly sensitive teen or “Super-feeler” can be a frustrating, confusing and demanding experience. Teens who are highly sensitive, emotional and intuitive can be challenging to understand. Super-feelers often struggle with appropriate emotional boundaries, become easily overwhelmed and may be prone to emotional outbursts. Many highly sensitive teens also struggle to stay focused and grounded, and their emotions often vacillate drastically and quickly, which can create difficulties in school and in relationships. And, you may struggle to parent or even relate with your teen, especially if you are unfamiliar with the ways that highly sensitive people experience the world.

Many Teenagers Struggle With Heightened Sensitivity

A heightened sensitivity allows people to connect with others on deeper levels and bring more compassion, empathy and creativity into their relationships. However, for many teenagers, being highly sensitive is often both a great gift and an enormous challenge. While the ability to connect to the emotions of others is an asset, when teenagers “over feel” they can easily become triggered, overwhelmed and emotionally reactive.

Navigating the teenage years is challenging for most, if not all, teenagers. And, these years can be increasingly difficult for those who are highly intuitive, sensitive and empathetic. If your teen is noticeably affected by other’s moods, highly reactionary, prone to isolation or acting out or is revealing symptoms of depression or anxiety, an experienced therapist can provide insight, guidance and relief.

The Superfeeler Explained: 3 Ws for Superfeelers & Their Loved Ones

What makes a super-feeler?

Genetics – a super-feeler with a super-feeler parent can be “wired this way”
Early stress in childhood can also increase the likelihood of becoming a super-feeler

What makes a super-feeler unique? Superfeelers...

Have a keen sense for emotions in their environment
Experience emotions very intensely – their own and those of others
Can pick up on others’ stress and emotions very easily
Can be more sensitive to perceived threat in the environment (this is why super-feelers become more upset when a parent raises their voice)
Are often motivated to “rescue” others to protect themselves from feeling their pain (and in doing so – they often deny their own needs). This can include animals too!
Can feel alone in the world since some people will struggle to understand what it’s like
Can hide that they are a super-feeler very well – mostly to protect others or relationships

What happens with superfeelers? Super-feelers...

May try to find ways to reduce pain/avoid emotions -- sometimes with unhealthy behaviors
Because of this tendency to avoid emotions, superfeelers can be vulnerable to developing eating disorders, anxiety, depression, other mental illnesses, and some chronic health issues, especially if they are exposed to significant or chronic stressors
Will need support from their environment to manage their emotions until they develop the advanced skills to do so (and until their brain completes its development)
Superfeelers are highly likely to succeed in the caring professions (e.g. as social workers, doctors, nurses, psychologists), and might perform unusually well in the world once they learn to manage the emotions they sense a